TMG Scale 1.0 P Factor 1.0 MPAA Rating: R
Starring Kirsten Dunst, Kiefer Sutherland, Alexander Skarsgard
By the time this movie was over, I was praying and begging the world would come to an end. This is the worst piece of crap, excuse for a movie I have suffered through since Paranormal Activity 2. This film is depression and angst on steroids with no plot, no meaning and no message. And the filming is the worst I have ever experienced. It appeared filmed with a single, hand held video camera by someone with advanced stages of Parkinson’s disease. And Kirsten sweetheart, you are cute, but lets just say kindly that you don’t have the upholstery for doing nude scenes—keep your clothes on!
First off, the opening sequence of stills was stupid and boring. I screened this film in my home theatre. I went looking for the box to make sure I had the right DVD. What did the lightening coming from Dunst’s finger tips have to do with anything other that give the special effects guys something to do?
Justine (Dunst) and Michael (Skarsgard) are having an incredibly expensive wedding at some country castle and golf course owned by their uncle John (Sutherland). Clearly, Justine is depressed and really does not love the real simp of a guy, Michael. (Actor Alexander Skarsgard was voted the sexiest man in Sweden in 1999—I don’t see that at all and apparently neither does Justine. Skarsgard’s real life Dad, Stellan Skarsgard, appears in the film as well—some package deal I guess.) The wedding is full of tension and family dysfunction and ends up with Michael leaving. Meanwhile, Uncle John is apparently some kind of super wealthy scientist who is monitoring a planet about to collide with the Earth. It eventually does and we are all glad. The end.
One of the dumbest, most boring movies I have ever seen. Don’t try to make sense of it. Most of all, don’t waste your precious time on Earth watching it.