TGM Scale 2.0
Starring Heather Graham, Jordana Beatty, Jaleel White
This movie is a big bummer. How bad can a film really be? TMG is probably not mentally deficient enough to judge this film correctly, but if asked, I would say “horrendous.” I cannot recall if I was in more pain having to endure Pokemon the Movie (1999) or the time I got chlorox in my eyes. Judy Moody misses a TMG 1.0 rating only because there may be a few ten year girls out there that might actually enjoy being irritated for two hours. I think most little girls might prefer giving blood than enduring this film.
First off, rule No. 1 of movies was violated. You have to have at least one character whom the audience will like. None of the kids in this film were remotely likeable. They were all brats. Second, was this movie filmed with some new technology called “explosion color?” My eyes actually hurt form all the super bright colors. And why was Judy Moody so into retro? Why was Judy’s mother so weird looking? Why was her brother “Stinky” even less loveable than Judy? The only character in this film I cared for at all was Judy’s Tuxedo cat, and I really don’t like cats.
This whole painful experience reminded me of many Saturday morning kid shows produced on public television. Yeah, that bad. Trust me. You will run to the nearest dentist for a root canal rather than sit through this film. Judy wears a funny little shirt that says “I ate a shark.” I frankly wish the shark had eaten her. And for crying out loud…why all these animal pooping references—frogs pooping, elephants pooping? I forgot…did I see or hear about Bigfoot pooping? And is any mentally stable kid these days really interested in Bigfoot? I would have rather heard pooping noises than the sound track for this film which could easily send an elephant into anaphylactic shock. It was even more irritating than Judy Moody and her brother. I wanted to scream. Admire me for trying. But for an adult, this movie really sucked big time.