TMG Scale 3.5
Starring Johnny Depp, Penelope Cruz
This film should have been titled, Pirates of the Caribbean: On Familiar Tides. And once again seeing it in 3D and on an IMAX screen did not help a bit. While TMG is a big Depp fan and I enjoyed the first three installments of this franchise, it is time to say “Pirates of the Caribbean: Rest in Peace.”
This latest escapade for Captain Jack Sparrow was just out-takes from the other three films. It was pasted together into a series a swashbuckling scenes we have seen way too many times before. Only a few hot mermaids made this film even bearable. A convoluted plot is expected, but the search for the Fountain of Youth was just too ginned up and had no real place except to entree a few jokes that did not work well. The smart ass Depp/Sparrow humor just never worked in this film. All the lines that were planted to be funny (and worked in the first few installments) just fell flat. No one in the crowed theatre where I endured this film even broke an audible guffaw.
The only thing I pondered when leaving this film was why I wasted my time and if I should do any research on whether and why pirates would ever scrub (“swab”) the deck of old wooden tall ships. [I have not found a rational reason yet. If you know, write us.] This is not a good outcome for any movie. TMG strongly suggests you skip this one and Depp will get other work sooner. He is far too talented to waste on this stuff anymore. There is really nothing more to say. Everyone has made a lot of money on this franchise. Great. Move on.