THOR (2011)

TMG Scale 1.5
Starring Sir Anthony Hopkins, Natalie Portman, Chris Hemsworth, Kat Dennings

How much crap like this can Hollywood spew out in less than a year? Seeing it in IMAX and 3D only made it look like a bigger pile of crap. Natalie Portman and Sir Anthony are in serious need of new agents.  If you liked this movie, I don’t mind hearing from you,  but please stay away from playgrounds and young children. It probably violates the terms of your probation anyway.

Why did TMG bother to give it a 1.5? Well, I laughed a few times. Laughter is always worth at least a half a point. I had not expected a comedy.  But the ridiculous character played by Portman was comedically offset by her dry and funny sidekick named Darcy Lewis (played by Dennings).

A totally nonsensical plot of an “advanced” society on another planet, living in a block castle and  running around in medieval garb  with swords and riding horses. Oh yeah….and they have technology that allows them to time travel across the universe.  It is all set up to tell some half baked fairly tale of King Odin (Hopkins) about to name his young punk son, Thor (Hemsworth) his successor. Young son tries to start Universe War III with arch rivals the Frost Giants. Following this? This is where I nearly headed for the exit.   Daddy Odin gets upset and banishes young Thor to Earth where he falls from the sky. Thor is found by  a clueless scientist name Jane Foster (Portman). This aspect  is totally stolen from 1984’s Starman, but lacking all the positive qualitiees that Jeff Bridges and Karen Allen lent to that John Carpenter classic. The romantic relationship that springs at the end between Darcy and Thor comes from nowhere.

This movie lacks plot, story development, logic, acting (with the possible exception of Dennings) and any message.  It is just all over the place and goes nowhere. And it is boring.  Rent Starman instead tonight.

 

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