Takers (2010)

TMG Scale 6.0
Starring Matt Dillon, Chris Brown

It’s a bank heist film.  Or more accurately, it is an armored car heist film.   The Italian Job it’s not by a country mile. Joy Lynn (you certainly know TMG’s on-air co-host by now) scolded TMG for even mentioning such a great classic in a review about Takers.

Takers ultimately is a “take it or leave it film.”  An definite DVD maybe on your next overnight flight from Detroit to LA.  We give it a well deserved “airplane movie” classification and a 6.0 rating.  TMG thought it was cheap but fun. Joy Lynn was bored.  She is not off base here.  This film but it did not have an original line, idea, character or bone in its body (acetate?). The film had some tempo and Matt Dillon’s acting was superb.  But in the end, this film probably took more than it gave in return.

Dillon plays burnt out cop who never spends the proper time with his daughter.   Lordy…Hollywood screenwriters must have that entire subplot on a big ink stamp by now.   The ending to this film reminds TMG of the first time he gambled away twenty bucks in a Vegas slot machine in less than five minutes.  I stood there wondering “What?  That’s it?’  You know the feeling.  Did the screenwriters just give up and go home early?  Was there a strike in Hollywood?  I mean robberies, cool gadgets and guns and lots of cash is virtually  self-intoxicating.  With nothing original and only Matt Dillon to hold this movie together, it just took us for a ride to nowhere.

With space to spare on this incredibly mediocre film,  TMG grabs the opportunity to carp on proper cinema etiquette.  LISTEN UP!  1.) If your lips never mastered the concept of “whisper” then please stay the heck out of movie theaters.  If you are hard of hearing (and my sympathies to you), then just shut the frog up in a movie theatre!  Okay?   Am I being clear here?  I came to enjoy a film in peace, not to hear you narrate or argue with your spouse.  2.)  Next time I see any moron bring a toddler into a late night, PG -13 or R-rated movie, I may just call the SRS or remove you myself.  If you cannot afford a baby sitter—STAY HOME.  Get that?  STAY HOME and play Chutes and Ladders with your four year old. You will be a better parent for it.  What kind of pin headed, numbskull, interbred, terrible excuse for a parent brings his 4-year-old daughter to a film like Takers at ten o’clock on a Friday night? Parents that are takers, not givers.

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