Shutter Island (2010)

Starring Leonardo DiCaprio, Ben Kingsley, Mark Ruffalo
TMG Scale 1.0

No, that is no misprint.  TMG generously gives this movies a 1.0 rating. This film should have had the subtitle “Feeling good today? Prefer a headache?” I dare you. Go see it yourself-–that’s the TMG mantra!   OK.  TMG knows he will take some hits for this. After all, Martin Scorsese is the Director. It has to be great, right?   But this just proves that genius can spring from madness.  Just keep in mind that madness can spring from madness too.

Film Class 101 is that films have three basic fundamental reasons to exist. First and foremost is to entertain.  If anyone can tell me this movie entertained them, then I know a lighthouse I would like to give you a tour of (you will need to see the film to understand that one).  Second among reasons not to waste good acetate, (or in today’s world, hard drive space) is to inform.  TMG learned nothing from this film other than to be more careful about wasting two hours seeing a film with a well known actor and a great director because you assumed it had some value.  The third basic fundamental of film is to make some good or even a half baked social statement,  or incite some clue about the meaning of the universe.  Even Michael Moore, flawed as his conclusions almost always are, understands the purpose of film is to provoke some rational thought or ideal.  Of course there are lesser film fundamentals, like to scare the pants off you, or make you cry, or laugh…but those all fall under fundamental number one—to entertain.

I am not certain of the grammatical opposite of to entertain” but I am sure “remove tonsils,” “have hemorrhoids implanted,” or “sleep with Rosie O’Donnell,”  are all close concepts. I would do all three on the same afternoon before ever watching this film again.  OK. TMG exaggerates. TMG  would watch Shutter Island a hundred more times and still  never sleep with Rosie O’Donnell.  I suggest skipping this film and instead take some flowers and a prayer book over to your nearest mental hospital.  I assure you it will be just as upsetting, be slightly more entertaining and you will at least produce some marginal societal  benefit for having done so.  Trashed insult is a fitting anagram for  Shutter Island. But so is Hardest Insult.  Again, you would have to see this film to fully appreciate my wit here, but it may be best not to.

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